On Thusday, for some reason or another, things weren't going quite to plan from the office's point of view and it would be at about 11.00 am. when they 'phoned to ask if I could 'Help out'.

I could; and, an hour or so later, I was driving (in my own car) along the M25 towards the garage I had visited in Hounslow Heath last week.

There, I was joined by another driver (in a hire-car) and we headed north to meet-up with two other drivers who were driving south from Scarborough in a couple of new buses.

It had been my understanding that each of us would have started our respective journeys at about the same time and, bearing in mind the other drivers were in buses (as opposed to a speedy hire-car) I was expecting to travel for quite some time before the rendevous.

In the event, however, it transpired that 'my' driver had left the factory quite a lot earlier and, as a consequence, we met up near Silverstone on the A43; at which point he joined my 'chauffeur' and they headed north to meet up with the second driver who, evidently, had been delayed by a couple of hours.

By now, it was only 3.00 pm. and, rather than stop somewhere for a cuppa, I drove the bus directly back to Hounslow Heath and, having delivered it, joined the early rush-hour traffic on the M25 to make my way home.

When, earlier in the week, the office asked me if I was available to work on Saturday, I had overlooked the fact that it would be a Bank Holiday weekend. So, I only had myself to blame when it took quite a lot longer than I might have expected to complete the job.

As it happened, the first part of the exercise wasn't too bad. I drove my own car to Guildford and, from there, a taxi to Woking station to catch one of the frequent Rail/Air coaches which run to Heathrow airport. I, then, took the tube to Hatton Cross and another taxi to the garage in Hounslow Heath to collect the bus.

From that point, the the exercise became less enjoyable. Traffic on the M25 was stationary for much of the time and, having turned off to join the M1, the roadworks (although nearly completed) were still causing long delays; so, the fact that the bus was limited to 50 mph didn't inconvenience me as much as it might have done in normal traffic conditions.

Fortunately, I was only going as far as Millbrook (near junction 13) and - even more fortunately - there was another bus waiting for me to take back to Guildford. So, at least, I was being reasonably well remunerated for the job.

This bus to be returned was the electric-powered double-decker I had taken to Rochester a few weeks previously and, although traffic was still quite heavy, the journey back didn't seem to take as long as the outward one had and I got to Guildford and, then, home in  reasonably good time.

Our best man and his wife are due to visit tomorrow and, aa a consequence, the office knew I couldn't risk the possibilty of having to stay away from home tonight. So, a little drive from Guildford down to Southampton fitted the bill rather nicely.

The vehicle involved was the electric-powered bus I had delivered to Harlow on Friday. Somehow, or other, it had returned to Guildford and needed to be taken to the docks. As it happened, I was rather pleased to be re-acquainted with the bus because I wanted to take some photos.

Over the weekend, I had worked out the likely cause of the RTA and, apart from demonstrating the minor nature of the 'contact' involved - as illustrated by the the lack of damage sustained to the bus, I wanted to point out that, unlike the earlier models (photos of which can be seen in the Export section), this new electric bus was fitted with a very large bumper at the front of the vehicle - which I wasn't used to!

Although it doesn't excuse the accident, it goes some way towards explaining why it happened and, in particular, why I was surprised that any contact had been made with the other vehicle.

Anyway, returning to today, the drive to the docks went smoothly and I enjoyed a leisurely train journey back to Guildford and got home just in time to watch Usain Bolt complete his 100/200 metres double in world record time (him - not me).

As I've mentioned in the past, Friday afternoon isn't the most sensible time of the week to venture onto the M25. Yesterday, however, was even more of a mess than usual because someone claiming to represent the 'Fathers 4 Justice' campaign had dressed-up as Batman and plonked himself on one of the overhead gantries for the rest of day and, as a consequence, congestion descended into confusion which developed into chaos.

As it happened, I had heard about the situation on BBC Radio 5 Live as I drove my own car to Guildford at a little after noon. However, they suggested the problem was confined to the anti-clockwise section of the motorway; so, I imagined I could take the clockwise route without too much bother. Sadly, however, the 'rubber-necking' season was in full-flow and progress was painfully slow all the way up to the site of the protest.

The vehicle I had collected was quite unusual. It was similar to the hybrid bus I took to Rochester a week or two ago - but, being based on a LHD, America-bound, Enviro 500, it was significantly larger. Nonetheless, it toodled along quite nicely and, all-in-all (taking the traffic conditions into account), I couldn't have expected to get to Harlow, Essex, much quicker than I did.

It was unfortunate, therefore, that less than 200 yards from my destination, I had a minor RTA which further delayed my journey. On the bright side, the damage to the bus could be wiped clean with a damp cloth and the other vehicle suffered no more than the removal of half a rear bumper. That said, although it would be difficult to apportion blame for the incident, perhaps I ought to consider nominating myself as a (temporary) Companion of the Upper Nile Territory.

Anyway, having eventually delivered the bus, there was a hire-car depot less than a quarter-of-a-mile away. So, I walked there to collect a car the office had booked for me and headed off towards Millbrook to collect the bus I had taken there a week previously.

Although most of the boffins had gone home by the time I got there, the security staff were expecting me and I got in and out of the facility in good time. However, the early-evening rush hour was in full swing; so, I decided to take a break at the motorway service station at Toddington on the M1.

Later, as I approached the junction with the M25, although it was as heavy as one might expect on a Friday evening, traffic wasn't too bad and I realised that the demonstrator must have abandoned his protest and the rest of the journey to Perivale was quite smooth.

Once again, a hire-car was waiting and I got back to my own car at Guildford without too much trouble - and, later, home to the almost obligatory hot bath.

I had been asked to get to Southampton docks by 8.30 am. on Wednesday morning. So, taking the hire-car I had used to get home from Sheffield on Tuesday, my day started rather earlier than I'm used to and I arrived there with about twenty minutes to spare.

This was the first time I've collected a vehicle from the docks. I've only delivered there in the past, and, as a consequence of my inexperience, I went to the wrong berth - from where I was directed to the right place and, as it happened, they were only just opening up when I got there.

The vehicle I was collecting was a second-hand American school-bus (bound - via Tilbury docks - for The Democratic Republic of the Congo) and, for a variety of reasons - searching for the documentation, finding the vehicle, starting it (it had flat batteries) and haviing to contend with the very heavy traffic associated with the arrival of a large cruise liner (The Queen Mary 2) - it was almost 10.30 am. before I emerged through the dock gates.

I had been warned that the bus needed re-fueling ASAP and, rather frustratingly, I was within twenty yards of the first garage I could get to when the engine spluttered to an undignified halt.

Having 'borrowed' a couple of traffic cones from the garage and placed them at the rear of the bus, I tried to see if I could move it by 'turning' the starter motor whilst 'in gear'. It was at this point that I discovered that the batteries were 'flat' again. So, I telephoned the office to authorise calling out 'assistance'' - which they did.

Although it was the best part of an hour before he got to me, the mechanic had (at least) been alerted to the circumstances and, in addition to a 'booster pack' to suppliment the batteries when attempting to start the engine, he brought 25 litres of diesel with him and, within twenty minutes of his arrival, the engine was running.

Whilst I had been awaiting the arrival of assistance, I had come to the conclusion that - because of the length of the bus - i would have found it extremely difficult to get into the garage I had reached. By now, however, I had sufficent fuel to reach the service station on the M27; so, I thanked the mechanic and set off with renewed enthusiasm.

Unfortuately, however, having travelled less than half-a-mile, the engine came to another undignified halt and I found myself parked on the hard shoulder of the M271 (see photo in the Out-of-the Ordinary section).

Fortunately, the mechanic had followed me and, with the help of the 'booster pack', we went through the starting procedure again. This time, instead of driving away when the engine started, we waited a while to see what would happen and we realised that the fact of the matter was that the batteries were not being charged at all. Furthermore, the fact that it seemed that a new alternator had been fitted recently suggested it wasn't a 'new' problem.

Whether it was new, or not, the fact remained that it was a problem and, to cut an awfully long story short, after several conversations with - and between - our office and the client (the owner of the bus), it was decided that he (the owner) would arrange for a low-loader to recover the vehicle and take it to a place of repair.

By the time the decision had been made it was well into the afternoon and I was beginning to realise that I hadn't eaten since about 6.00 am. and the fact that it was unlikely that recovery would arrive until about 5.30 pm. was contributing towards me starting to feel a little disgruntled.

All I had to help pass the time was a crossword and, when I finished it, the option of a nap wasn't too attractive because, unlike here in the UK, American school buses don't have a full length seat at the rear of the vehicle. What's more, since they are built to carry children, the leg-room between the other seats is limited.

Help was at hand, however.

By a fortunate twist of fate, the two drivers who I had met yesterday morning had brought a couple of buses down from Scotland and had delivered them into the docks at about 4.00 pm. On their way home in a hire-car and conscious of my plight, they brought me some sandwiches and a mug of tea from the aforementioned motorway service station on the M27.

Being social animals, they had bought themselves some tea/coffee, too, and they joined me in a roadside picnic. After half-an-hour, or so, one of them suggested they might as well stay with me until the recovery vehicle arrived.

And, so it was, that at a little after 6.00 pm., having loaded the bus onto the low-loader, I was given a very welcome lift back to my own car in Guildford - and home to an equally welcome hot bath.

On Tuesday morning, I drove my own car to Guildford - where, having parked it in the usual place, I walked a few hundred yards to another factory on the same industrial estate to collect a hire-car.

The office had alerted me to the fact that it would be left there by another couple of our drivers who were taking two fire appliance 'oop' north; one to Manchester, I believe, and the other to somewhere in Scotland.

As it happened, they were still there when I arrived and, having exchanged the usual pleasantries, I headed off towards a coach operator near Uxbridege to collect a particularly attractive-looking (especially, the interior - see above) nearly-new, executive, midi-coach which needed to go back to the manufacturer near Sheffield.

Apart from the expected delays on and around the M25, the journey was quite uneventful and, having had a bite to eat near Northampton, I got there in the early afternoon.

Another hire-car was waiting for me and, although it had been mooted that I might be required to drive westward to meet up with something which was coming down from Falkirk, it wasn't to be and I went home - still in the hire-car because I was expecting to use it to get to the next job on Wednesday morning.

On the way back - especially on the M40 - I met several  CLOTS (Centre Lane Only Tw*ts) none of whom seemed remotely able - or willing - to understand what The Highway Code's advice, 'Return to the left...... etc. ' actually means (see below). So far as I was concerend, each and every one of them was a worthy candidate for the Companion of the Upper Nile Territory award.

From THE HIGHWAY CODE............

You should always drive in the left-hand lane when the road ahead is clear. If you are overtaking a number of slower-moving vehicles, you should return to the left-hand lane as soon as you are safely past. Slow-moving or speed-restricted vehicles should always remain in the left-hand lane of the carriageway unless overtaking.

A couple of years ago, I enjoyed a 'trip of a lifetime' by visiting South America. When I got home, I put together a journal and, recently, someone suggested it wouldn't be out of place here. However, since I couldn't work out how to insert it as a file, I've spent the past day cutting and pasting from the original and, at the same time, adding links when appropriate. I have to say it was a most pleasant experience for me because many memories came flooding back. Please feel free to take a minute or two to browse through it. It's called South America .

Many years ago, whilst experimenting with my first computer, I produced several copies of a certificate which I used to give to - or, sometimes throw at - motorists who had demonstrated an element of stupidity which was sufficient to make them 'stand out from the crowd'.

The wording on the certificate recounted a legend about General Gordon of Khartoun, who, in an attempt to quell the disturbances in the Sudan during the late nineteenth century, tried to persuade Queen Victoria to create a new order which could be bestowed on some of Muhammad Ahmad al-Mahdi's followers - most of whom were the illegitimate sons of pox-ridden harlots and camel drivers and, in reality, somewhat beneath the contempt of a fine upstanding commander of The British Army.

I'm toying with the idea of re-introducing the order and, through this blog and, when appropriate, singling out individual drivers or groups of drivers whom I consider to be worthy of the title - which, by the way, is Companion of the Upper Nile Territory.

As I may have mentioned on a previous occasion, an opportunity to drive a hire-car into London, drive out again in a double-decker bus, navigate part of the M25 and then negotiate the roadworks at the bottom end of the M1 isn't something many of us would relish at the best of times - but to be expected to do it on a Friday is akin to rubbing salt into an open wound.

And so it was, at about 10.00 am. this morning, having taken my own car to Guildford, swopped it for a hire-car and driven to a garage in Perivale where I collected the aforementioned bus and headed off towards the vehicle testing centre at Millbrook.

I arrived there a little before noon and unusually (and somewhat annoyingly), a hire-car wasn't waiting for me and I had to wait over half-an-hour before it was delivered. However, when it was, I was still able to get back to Guildford - and then home - before the rush-hour had started.

I had booked a taxi for 10.00 am. on Monday morning to take me from a factory in Guildford (where I had parked my own car) to the railway station. From there, I caught a train to Gatwick airport because the office had booked me onto an Easyjet flight to Edinburgh.

As might be expected during the school summer holidays, the terminal was packed. Nevertheless, I had a reasonably smooth passage through the check-in area and spent the best part of two hours wandering around waiting for my flight to be called - and, when it was, fortunately, it left on time and we arrived in Edinburgh a little earlier than expected.

Another of our drivers was flying up from Southampton airport and was expected to arrive a little less than an hour after me. So, rather than hang around the terminal waiting for him, I took a bus to the hire-car offices and went through the hiring procedure and, having done that, waited for him to appear - which he did.

Although the rush-hour traffic was at its heaviest when we left the airport, we had a reasonably pleasant journey to Falkirk - where we collected two single-deck buses which were bound for Hong Kong (via Southampton docks).

After stopping for a meal at a motorway service station just south of Glasgow, we headed south towards Charnock Richard services (near Chorley) where we were booked into the hotel for the night. We got there at about 11.00 pm. and, after a cup of tea and a cake or two, I did my crossword for some time before 'turning-in' at a little after midnight.

Normally, the other driver (who is a much earlier riser than me) would have been long gone by the time I set off at about 8.00 am.on Tuesday morning. However, he had slept better than usual and, as a consequence was only about half-an-hour ahead of me and we met up at a motorway service station on the M4 near Swindon.

Luckily (for me) his son picked us up at Southampton docks and they dropped me off at Havant railway station - thereby allowing me to get a train direct to Guildford - from where I caught a taxi to where my car was parked and I got home well before the evening rush-hour started.